Taylor Nicolas: Elisia

Elisia sat on the porch swing at her mother’s house, looking out at the field of wildflowers just in the distance. She closed her eyes, and let their warm smell fill her lungs. She felt like she was home. She opened her eyes and held her left hand out in front of her face, admiring the diamond ring on her finger. Her fiancee had proposed earlier that week, and she was still riding on cloud nine. Elisia heard a rustling at the front door, she turned her head to see her mother barreling through the screen door with a pitcher of lemonade and two glasses on a tray.

“Okay Lissie! Let’s get to planning!” She set the tray down on the small patio table nearest to Elisia. “We have to figure out a venue, a cake, a dress” Elisia looked over into her mother’s face. Her eyes were lit up with an excitement that made her heart feel so full.

“I think that Chloe wants matching dresses” Elisia’s mother poured her a glass

“Oh, do you mean like matching wedding gowns? Or were you looking for something more like Bridesmaids matching dresses?” Elisia looked at her ring again

“I think she wants one of us to wear a gown, and the other to wear a cocktail dress in the same style” She shook her head and looked up

“That’s not why I’m here, Mom. I came because I wanted to talk to you about my Father” Elisia’s mother sat down beside her on the porch swing with a glass of lemonade. She took a long sip.

“Now, I don’t think finding a gown and cocktail dress that are similar should be a problem. The hard part would be deciding who wears what! You both have very beautiful legs, but a gown is just classic”

“Mom, did you hear me? I want to talk about my FATHER” Elisia stood up and walked in front of her mother making sure that she met her eye line.

“I’m about to get married. It’s a big deal. Everyone will be there, you, Gran and Grandaddy. Chloe’s relatives from New York are coming. It’s important” Elisia felt the tears well up in her eyes. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t become emotional.

“I know that Lissie, but what does any of that have to do with your Father” Her mother took another long sip of Lemonade. Elisia looked out over their property. They’d lived here her entire life. Just the two of them, in this little house on the outskirts of Gatlinburg Tennessee. She’d gone to College in New York, and that’s where she met Chloe. Everything in her life was falling into place. Except of course, the mystery of her Father.

“I feel empty and sick about it Mom. Chloe’s Dad is going to be giving her away. I want…” Elisia felt a lump in her throat.

“You want your Daddy to walk you down the aisle.” Her Mother’s voice cracked “Well, what’s wrong with having a Mama walk you down the aisle Lissie? Hmmm? I’d be more than happy to-”

“It’s not that” Elisia’s words were full of ache, she could feel the heat in her face, and the tears welling up in her eyes. “Don’t get emotional” she thought

“I just need to know who he is. Where he is. Is he alive? Did I even have a Father?”

Her mother put the empty glass back down on the table. Her eyes began to gloss over.

“I had hoped, prayed even, that this day would never come. I thought that I would be all you need. I was foolish in thinking that you, my sweet girl, would never ask me this. I imagined as I was rocking you on this swing when you were a baby, that in would be us against all odds. I believed that if I loved you enough, supported you enough, maybe I could BE enough.” Elisia turned away, looking out at the wildflowers. Her heart swelled with guilt.

“Yes Lissie bug, you have a Father. He lives in Alabama” Elisia turned around quickly to look at her mother still sitting on the porch swing.

“I left him when you were still in my belly. I didn’t even tell him that you existed. I packed my things and left in the dead of night. He thinks I’m dead” Her mother’s tears began to run down her cheeks. “Please don’t try to find him, don’t try to reach out. I changed my name so that he couldn’t find me. He was a bad bad man, Lissie bug. An awful, vengeful man.” Her Mother got up, wiping her tears on her apron.

“Tomorrow when Chloe gets here we’ll go into town and look for dresses. Mrs. Tillman said that she will bake your wedding cake, she’s over the moon excited about it.” She put her fingertips under Elisia’s chin, smiled that loving smile that only a Mother has, and locked eyes with her.

“His name is Gregory, Lissie Bug. He would have killed us both if we’d stayed.” She pushed Elisia’s long black hair behind her ear. “

“This week should be a happy one, let’s not discuss it again” Elisia smiled painfully at her Mother

“Yes Mommy” she whispered.

Her Mother put her arm around her shoulder, guiding her into the house, leaving the conversation behind.